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6 Spotify songs to listen to while Silicon Valley steals your DNA

DNA double helix strand viewed with smartphone

One query has plagued molecular biologists for hundreds of years: Is it a banger?


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1869. In a laboratory in Germany, Swiss doctor Friedrich Miescher stared on the white blood cells underneath his microscope and requested the query that will lead to the invention of DNA and 150 years of scientific analysis:

“If you could listen to your DNA, what would it sound like? And more importantly, does it slap?”

This week the family tree web site announced a partnership with Spotify for AncestryDNA prospects to uncover their ethnic origins and put the solutions to music — or in Ancestry’s phrases, “Your AncestryDNA results can play a unique Spotify mix of music, inspired by your origins.”

That’s proper, science, we do not want you anymore. We’ve received Ancestry.com on the vanguard of scientific discovery when it comes to the constructing blocks of humankind, creating the right Spotify playlist to match your DNA.

It’s the subsequent logical step for the tech world, which has been quietly invading our our bodies for years now. From these first step trackers and health apps all the way in which to China’s state-wide facial recognition and social scoring database, expertise is consistently discovering new methods to monitor our our bodies, quantify our actions, retailer our unchangeable biometric identifiers and keep in mind our DNA.

What in the event you might monitor each invasion of privateness and each egregious try at biometric surveillance in a playlist of songs? What sick beat would you match to every occasion of technological overreach, each time Silicon Valley tried to measure and retailer your most private info?

Worry no extra! In the spirit of the brand new period of biometric monitoring, we have racked up a playlist of unmitigated bangers to listen to while Silicon Valley and the police state invade each cell in your physique. Turn your stereo up to 11, cede management of your digital personhood and prepare to ROCK!

1. DNA. — Kendrick Lamar

“I got millions, I got riches buildin’ in my DNA.”

That’s proper, you possibly can safe your riches in your DNA now. A startup known as Carverr has developed expertise to use synthetic DNA as a way of storing data, together with cryptocurrency passwords. In the long run you will not want to keep in mind your PIN on the ATM — simply spit on the keypad!

2. One (Blake’s Got a New Face) — Vampire Weekend

“Blake’s got a new face! Blake’s got a new face!”

Forgotten your passport? No worries! The airports of the future can be in a position to scan your face utilizing biometric cameras and match it to a global database. And it isn’t only for boarding planes — facial recognition can also be used for enjoyable issues like unlocking your telephone! Or to assist police in China discover you in minutes utilizing biometric cameras hidden in their glasses. Fun issues like that!

three. All Around the World or the Myth of Fingerprints — Paul Simon

“He says there’s no doubt about it, it was the myth of fingerprints, I’ve seen them all and man they’re all the same.”

Even if you do not have a face-scanning digital camera in your telephone, Silicon Valley nonetheless has you coated. Just use your fingerprints. Better than a PIN, since you’ll always remember it. And higher than a PIN since you’ll additionally by no means have the opportunity to change it — even when that biometric knowledge is hacked or breached. Huzzah!

four. Every breath you’re taking — The Police

“Every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”

OK. So you do not board a aircraft, you do not use facial recognition and you’ve got burned off your fingerprints. But you possibly can nonetheless use a health tracker, proper? Who might presumably need that knowledge? OK, perhaps your insurance coverage firm, to carry your premiums. OK, and perhaps your employer, to monitor your actions and all that weight acquire from sitting at your desk all day. And perhaps hackers who need to know whether or not you are jogging around a secret military base within the Middle East. But aside from that…

5. Riders on the Storm — The Doors

“There’s a killer on the road.”

Your organic info is not simply used to determine you. Now you possibly can play an element in serving to police monitor down your family! DNA databases performed an integral part in the capture of the Golden State Killer in 2018, when the killer’s profile was matched to knowledge on the web site GEDMatch. You by no means know when your quest to discover your household tree might out Uncle Jim for these crimes he dedicated within the ’70s.

6. Bad Blood — Taylor Swift

“Take a look at what you’ve done, ’cause baby now we got bad blood.”

This one is extra honorary point out to everybody who believed in Theranos — the Silicon Valley firm that promised to simplify blood checks through the use of 1/1000 of the quantity of blood required by different pathology checks. But in the event you poured your blood right into a “nanotainer” to be analysed by Theranos’ “Edison” machine, I’ve unhealthy information: You gave your DNA to the fallacious folks. The whole thing was a sham.

Ancestry.com has been contacted for remark.

Infowars and Silicon Valley: Everything you want to know in regards to the tech trade’s free speech debate.

Cambridge Analytica: Everything you want to find out about Facebook’s knowledge mining scandal.


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